Thursday, May 15, 2008

Another letter from Gaza..


Every time I think life in here can't get any worse, but surprisingly it does! At work we reached a level where we have money but can't spend it to do any kind of relief work, there is nothing in the local market, no food, no hygiene items, no school bags, no medicine, nothing at all!!!!! We ended up distributing toy kits in times when people can't find anything to eat!!
I am ok Philip but has so much heart aches, it is the feeling of helplessness that kills you and feeling of neglect and disappointment. Today I was in the field to monitor some of our protection activities in Jabalia and I was struck by the scenes of donkey carts standing on the road sides to pick people and to make room for more people on the cart, the cart driver asked the people to ride standing to make space for as many people as possible. While an old lady holding a baby was left there alone cause she was unable to ride standing... Where in the world would you see such humiliating scenes?
In the session children were asked to draw on a white paper a place where they feel more safe and protected, children drew different things and started presenting them, and one child "Mahmoud" started presenting to the rest of the children what he drew "a grave with his name on it" but he further explained that he would feel more protected among those people that he loved and cherished and left all at once. Mahmoud didn't cry, he told me he is a real man and shouldn't cry and because those entombed people are resting in peace away from the sound of shooting and tanks.
Streets are completely empty, taxi's have all kinds of smells and flavors now that driver use cooking oil and gas. At first I had big concerns about taking those bomber taxi's, now I only have concerns about not being able to reach my office! I don't go out anymore, last time I saw Wisam and my friends was on my birthday April 24th, transportation cost it too expensive and I no longer can afford the expenses of my daily movement!
I want to cry Philip, but I am unable, I even feel worse that I might be able to travel, I don't feel good staying, I don't feel good leaving either. I think this is Gaza, you can't afford living inside it and you can't afford leaving it!
Keep us in your prayers, you are so much missed in here my dear friend!